I've heard, "You learn more about someone at the end of a relationship than you do at the beginning." I think we can apply this to relationships, work situations, and even the ending of a year. The ending of something often brings out feelings or thoughts that we may not have shared throughout the rest of the experience. We may be at a "I have nothing to lose now" point in a process, and so we are more comfortable revealing our true feelings. Or, maybe, we've tried to ignore red flags or resentments and they come to the surface as we mentally review the experience. In contrast, we could have tried to ignore good feelings, like love or appreciation, and they come pouring out when we see the experience is coming to an end. 

Part of the hiring process is to review a candidate's references from former employers. I've frequently thought that dating should come with this same review process - why are we able to screen employees based on their past behavior, but we're expected to find our life partner without any guidance from those who have had prior experiences with the person? Basic questions could apply to both situations, and provide some basic helpful screening - but my first question would always be, "How did this person act through the end - of the work situation, of the relationship, etc?" There's just something about the ending phase that really tells a lot about a person.

I've been seeing daily how people are hating on 2016, and ready for it to end, because it's been a bad year. "Death to 2016" and "I hate 2016" memes are everywhere. Yes, we lost a lot of Hollywood stars and famous people. I personally lost my own father this year. But rather than hating this year, I prefer to glean the good from it and learn from my mistakes so that I don't make those again, and move forward with a positive attitude into 2017. "Thank you, 2016, for the lessons you taught me" feels so much better than "I hate 2016." My father passed in June; I like to think that he's at peace now, and while I was, of course, saddened at the loss, I'm happy to know that my father's 5-year suffering from illness, and continuous decline in health, has ended. I'm happy that I was there during his last days, and that I was by his side, talking to him, as he took his last breath. What a gift my dad gave to me with that moment. I also turned 50 years old this year, and while some may be feeling depressed over that milestone, I celebrated it and turned it into a countdown - 50 days of fun leading up to the big day. I made some great memories throughout that. I found, and lost, love in 2016. Do I focus on the loss, or do I focus on the beauty of the relationship while I was able to hold it close to me? I am letting 2016 end with gratitude in my heart for the gifts I was given, for the positive experiences I had, and for the lessons I learned. 

If you're someone who ends things badly, and leaves a pile of crumbling negativity behind you, this says a lot about who you are overall as a person. Sure, there are instances in all our lives when things just can't end well, because it does take two. But you have control over your side of this. If you were unhappy with an employer and you choose to move to another job, do you really need to lash out, express hostility, and leave a path of criticism behind you? My suggestion would be to, instead, acknowledge that job wasn't the right fit for you, nor you for them, thank them for the lessons learned, and move forward... only forward. If you're in a relationship that ends, whether it's your choice or the other's, show respect. Give kindness and leave a path of positive memories of you. There is nothing to be gained of flinging criticisms, hurt, anger, resentment, or anything else at the person you're no longer going to be with. Again... acknowledge it wasn't a good fit, and move forward. 2016 may have been difficult for you, and there may have even been moments or periods where you felt you weren't going to make it. But you did make it, and here you are, with a new year about to begin and a fresh start in front of you. Embrace it, wave goodbye to 2016 with a thank-you and a smile for what was good, and move forward.

A lot of things may end for you - in a couple days, for all of us, it will be 2016 that ends. What you make of that is totally within your control -- who are you, and how will you show that? I'd like to encourage you to keep in mind... that as you are celebrating at midnight you are celebrating both the end, and a new beginning, with the same tick of the clock. Be a really awesome you.