Try to think back on the two times in your life when you feel you were the BEST version of yourself, and the WORST version of yourself. When you think of those periods of time in your life, who were the people you were surrounding yourself with at that time? When I was growing up my father always told me to choose my friends carefully, and he said that my friends would be a significant influence on me. I didn’t really get that at the time, and I possibly even argued with him, but I’m really understanding it to a new depth now that I’m older.

The people we spend our time with are typically either (1) selected by us, and we continue to make a choice to spend time with them; or (2) part of an environment where we’re sort of stuck together, like a family unit or a workplace. Whether you choose the people in your life, or they’re just part of situations you’re in, you can become very influenced by those you’re around the most. If you are a student and you spend a great deal of your time with other students, particularly those that work hard, stay focused, and are reaching toward educational goals, you will very likely go that same direction. If, however, you are hanging around others who lack that focus, who don’t set those educational goals, and who do a halfway- or less-than-expected job on their studies, you will most likely be influenced to go that same direction, or at the very least to just not give as much as you may otherwise.

As an entrepreneur who has worked remotely for the last 10 years, I find that I am rarely surrounded by others in my situation. It would be beneficial to spend more time with people who have similar goals, motivation and drive, and who are experiencing similar challenges that come from being a business owner. But since Covid began, I have found myself, instead, spending time with my family – who are either retired, college students, or stay-home parents. It has made it difficult for me to really keep working the way I did when I started, since the people I’m around aren’t doing anything similar to what I’m doing. I’ve never enjoyed going to an office, and always found that if I showed up super early I could get more done in the 2 hours before everyone else arrived than I could get done all day, because of distractions. So I do well in a remote-work environment, except that lately I’ve been thinking I need to be around people who are working, and who understand the entrepreneurial mind, and the small-business challenges that I deal with.

If you’re looking to strengthen your financial situation then you probably shouldn’t spend most of your time with people who are spenders, or who don’t have the same financial restrictions you’re placing on yourself in order to meet your goals. You’ll want to spend time with people who make your goals feel supported, and even be around people who talk about investments, long-term financial security, and so forth. To meet a goal, it’s always helpful to have others around you with that shared goal.
If you’re wanting to grow in your spiritual life, you’re going to have a much harder time staying focused on that if you’re surrounding yourself with people who are not like-minded. We build each other up, we help each other focus, and we reinforce each other’s motivation and purpose when we share similar values and goals.

Someone who struggles with addiction should spend as much time as possible with people who don’t have the same addiction, or who will at least keep the addict accountable. When we want to do something we’re not supposed to do, or which isn’t good for us, it’s easy to navigate toward the people who will encourage us to do those things rather than those who will try to stop us. We want to do what we want to do, and so we’ll seek people who will support that. But if you’re looking to improve your life and yourself, the best avenue to that goal is to surround yourself with people who are the way you eventually hope you’ll be.

When my kids were young I would tell them to find people they admired, specifically acknowledge what about those people was admirable, and then try to mimick those traits. My son liked Michael Jordan a lot, and followed his every move, showing me replay after replay of his games. So I took my son to an OU basketball practice, and the coach was amazing, letting my son play on the court with the team, and having each player come up to my son, in a line, and shake his hand. They were working amazingly hard at practice, and my son watched, and learned from them. If you can’t be the mentor or the example to your kids, find people who can, and surround your kids with those people.
When you’re not feeling happy, or at your best, take a look around you.. who are you spending time with, and who are you letting influence you and your life?